I hope you are all recovering from what just seemed like a loooong weekend. I have not been feeling that great for several days now. I have a bunch of pictures of my family all over the front of my fridge like many of you. I have 3 pictures of Aaron on there and every time I go in the kitchen, or open the fridge, or just walk by - he is staring and smiling at me.
At Thanksgiving Maria and her niece Ana said I should take them down so I can move on and feel better. I told them - NO I am not ready yet. I told Hubby what they said and he said I should take them down too.
I just can't. It's only been 2 & 1/2 months.
I have been feeling bad knowing that he died at the age of 27, I will never be able to talk to or see my son again. That is just breaking my heart and I have been crying a lot and feeling kind of depressed. So because of how I am feeling - my weight jumped up from 145 to 151 slowly over the past week.
So I want to talk about that feeling of when you realize that you know your not doing great with your eating that day or even week and you start to feel - SCREW-IT! I am just gonna keep eating bad cause I feel bad or I am already doing bad...
We need to really shake off those feelings. Don't give up on yourself..... No matter how we are feeling for what ever reason, they are never any reasons good enough to keep sabotaging yourself. Just shake it off and keep eating healthy and do the very best you can.
My breakfast yesterday was 2 Oasis toast with butter and peanut butter, 2 eggs with cheese, turkey bacon and berries.
At around 3:30 me and the 3 furry girls went for a over 2 mile walk. It has been such beautiful weather and I love walking everyday with them.
Dinner Hubby and I went to the Hometown buffet. I had a buy 1 get 1 free coupon and he was starving for some reason. I ate some different veggies, salad and turkey meat. But I did eat a tiny brownie for desert with some whipped cream.
My breakfast this morning was 2 eggs with cheese, turkey bacon, cottage cheese and berries.
I thought it was very informative.
My wonderful cousin asked me if I would finish a crocheted blanket for some seniors as lap blankets. I said SURE I would be glad to help. So yesterday I looked at it, no hook so I had to first figure out what the hell kind of stitch it was then what size hook to use. Well that was fun - NOT... Then it took me way over an hour to unravel the yarn. It was in a tangled mess!! Who the heck starts to knit or crochet anything without rolling the yarn in a ball first??????? Well I was frustrated and cussed a little. LOL
But I figured everything out and is going nicely. Made me feel useful actually.
I don't know what we are doing today, but I hope you all have a nice start to your week.
This is PurpleRosy signing off...
Keep on BFC ' n :-)
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aww sorry u having a bad time about your son..i agree with you..keep the pics up until YOU are ready to take them down and some day you will..my mom passed five years ago and i still had some of her clothes in my closet..couldnt get rid of them..then one day i said today is the day and i just did it..i didnt even cry.i felt bad but i knew i had to do it..five years...it was time! im sure we all gained weight over the four days..im sure i gained a few lbs and im not looking at that scale...but i know the feeling..when u start gaining u say ..oh sheesh it took so long and hard to lose that i cant do it agin...but gotta give yourself a kick in the butt and do it..and so i have to start over too..better days are ahead and we are all with you!
ReplyDeleteoops that anonymous comment was from carole!
ReplyDeleteLeave the pics up until YOU want to take them down.
ReplyDeleteHey will you change my weight please.
Crystal-199.2 woo hoo finally made it under 200. So far down 31.5. It has taken over 4 months! But who cares, it's gone. :)
So sorry that you are still hurting so much. I imagine it will always hurt to some degree. My only thought would be to maybe put the pictures away until you are feeling a little stronger and then maybe put them back up again. However, if it's a comfort for you to have them there, even if it hurts, then leave them. Big Hugs to you Rosalie!!
ReplyDeleteYa know...every person mourns differently. You are ok...and know you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteI needed to hear about...screw it. I've been there the last two weeks. I'm still mourning at the holidays...but dealing with hubby losing weight too is giving me heartburn. Argggh.
I think that you have the right to grieve any way that you want, but I also think those around you are just trying to help you. It's so hard to know what is right?
ReplyDeleteI was very happy with my weight today, but it isn't at my low that's for sure!
Thank you for you!
My dad put my mom's pictures up ALL over the house, I mean everywhere. He said he liked her "looking" at him. I would never ask him to put them away. It makes him happy to see pictures of them in happier times.
ReplyDeleteMy weight is up a bit from the weekend too..sigh. Back to the basics for me again.