Good Morning,
Yesterday we went to this Natural Health Expo at he Anaheim Convention Center. We got free passes from a friend of my husbands just for the day. It was Friday, Saturday & Sunday. They had a zillion booths set up all over and OH Yeah - they were handing out samples. So I wound up carrying 2 sacks full of stuff. I was alone cause we split up when we went in.
I used my weight loss from the past year to try to get some good samples. It worked sometimes. I walked and carried and walked. And the samples... I must have tried 5 different of those green healthy drinks. always asked what everything was sweetened with first before I tried it. I got 3 different kinds of stevia based sweeteners. I will let you know if I like them better than Truvia, which is what I use all the time now.
I really didn't have time to go thru everything. So - Oh well. I tried.
I have been really upset lately because of everything going on in my life. I feel sometimes that I am being punished in this life for something I did in a prior life. I really just want to be happy more than anything, but don't see that will ever be possible. My whole life has been like a really bad novel or movie. Ever since I was little.
I have been thru more in my life than others can even think about. Now - I am not saying any of this for you to feel sorry for me. Not at all. I have accepted that this is my life and I guess I deserve it for some reason that I am not aware of. I really try to be a good person, but I guess I don't try hard enough.
I have no friends to talk to so this blog is like my friend. I don't work and am alone a lot. My best part of every day is when I go for a walk with my 2 dogs. Pathetic Huh??
I just wanted to share some of my feelings and to say that even though I feel awful, I still manage to stay on track and not go off the BFC. There are many times, like now, that I just want to give up on everything in life and just go hide in a corner. But what would that accomplish?? Not a f-in thing. So I just have to suck it up and keep going. Don't know which direction or where? I am sorry but, I don't think I believe in god. If there was a god, why would he let all my father's family get murdered by hitler in Poland where he grew up?? If there was - why would all those good people die in Japan a few days ago.
Can you tell? .....I feel like SHIT today!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Get widget
You Might Also Like
-
Before January 2011 – 215 pounds After February 2013 – 135 pounds I started the Belly Fat Cure at the beginning of August 20... -
Hello Everyone, First I just want to say that the Belly Fat Cure ROCKS!! It is 8pm on thursday and I finished my walk over an hour ago, ...
-
HI All, Not much going on over here. It finally stopped raining and is a nice clear sky today but it will be cool, under 60. Yeah that... -
Hello Everyone, Well yesterday I managed to keep myself real busy to take my mind off the house thing. My breakfast yesterday, oasis to... -
Hi All, Well its a gloomy Monday morning over here. Its gotta happen sometimes - right? I am feeling exactly like the weather. There are a...
Stevia Chart
Okay first, I hope you feel better! I am stuck to my TV with news of Japan myself and find it very upsetting. Stress is such a challenge on a diet, it is my worst enemy with food.
ReplyDelete2nd - I am totally jealous you were at the food expo! I wanted to drive down for it and am hoping CarbSmart finds so new low sugar foods there!
Sending good vibrations your way...
Rosalie...
ReplyDeleteI am sorry too that you are feeling so down today. While I dont know all the circumstances as to why you feel this way,I feel compelled to respond to your blog today in hopes that you will realize that you are not alone, that you are dearly loved by all of us here, but especially by God! I understand what you are feeling about all the tragedies that have befallen on the world and how could God allow them to happen to such good people. I dont understand them myself,nor do I have an answer as to why these things happen.I do know without a doubt that when I spend some quiet time in prayer, that even though he may not answer in the time frame that I want (immediately) I do know that in HIS time he does send me answers, sometimes very subtly in the form of whispers that only my heart can hear and sometimes they are loud & clear. I had a very loud and clear one sent to me in Novemeber and to be honest it wasnt the answer I had hoped for, but as I reflect back now, I know that it was truly what was the best for me. I want to share this with you....My mother is the most wonderful person I know. 6 yrs ago, at the age of 68, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, almost a stage 4 which is the worst stage and pretty much a death sentence. Ovarian cancer is not curable, only manageable. Many women dont live past the 5 year mark.I remember the day she was diagnosed. I laid on my bed and sobbed...it lasted for 3 days. I didnt understand why God allowed this to happen to such a kind and loving person. I prayed constantly that he would take care of her and put her in the hands of the very best Drs to care for her....and he delivered. There were no Drs in our city who would touch her because she was so far advanced. I called one of my good friends from nursing school who works in a cancer center in town and she got my mom an appt with a fantastic, very aggressive cancer surgeon in Pittsburgh. My mom spent almost 3 weeks there and I didnt know if she would make it to christmas that year. I know that God sent a specail blessing in Dr. Price because I beleive with allmy heart, he saved my moms life.
And here we are 2011 and My mom just celebrated her 74th birthday on March 10th!!! It was also the 6th anniversary of her life saving surgery. I KNOW that it was nothing short of a miracle and I pray every day for her health and to remain cancer free. While I certainly am not here to preach by any means, I know that I LOVE GOD and I would feel so lost without him in my life! My faith has gotten me through so many difficult times in my life .When I am sad, uspet or feel lost, I find that when I spend quiet time in prayer just talking with him, I always feel better and at peace with the situation. I have had some very sad & upsetting things happen in the past few months myself and every time I find myself crying about them, I pray for his comfort, and he has always delivered. Im sorry this is such a long post but I want you to know, that you are most certainly not alone!
I will pray for your comfort & peace my friend. Call me if you need to talk or if there is anything I can do for you!
Love & Hugs to you!
((Sherri))
Rosalie I am sorry to hear you feeling like crap. I know that not having a job can be isolating and depressing, especially when people ask you what you do all day.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that so much shit is getting you down, but I'm glad you shared it with us...I too have been having a hard time and negative thoughts due to who I thought was my best friend dumping me only weeks before my wedding. It's been 3 years, but it still hurts. Life sucks sometimes and there is no other way to put it.
I appreciate you, and I hope that tomorrow is a better day. I'm sending you a big hug :)
Rosalie, I am sorry your feeling this way. Just like you say to me, call me anytime or message me on facebook when you see me online. I love to talk and love to listen, I have had plenty moments of falling apart and feeling so depressed about life so I understand when things get hard sometimes.
ReplyDeleteA lot has been going on in the world that is depressing and its hard to see and it makes us feel sad. We just gotta do what we can to keep ourselves lifted.
I also understand you about the friends subject. Right now all my friends are so busy and we never get together anymore, its very rare that it happens. So the blog and all you ladies are closer then some of my dearest friends. Its good to know we are all out there for each other. Maybe one day we can plan a ladies outing and all meet up somewhere. I think it would be fun. :)
I'm sorry you're having a difficult time right now, Rosalie. It's easy for us to misunderstand God, but just as we can't force our adult children to make good decisions, and those decisions sometimes cause a lot of heartache for them and those around them, God does not force us to make good decisions. That's what free will is about. Sadly, many people don't use their free will in a good way and make horrible decisions that cause others to suffer.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon. Is there anything you can do that would help you feel better and help you meet some friends?
Nice to chat with you today, however quick it was :) I'm glad you have company for a few days!!! I wanted to add to your blog, sometimes, God brings us to our knees...LITERALLY, and we have to cry out. I too am very isolated with not working. Fortunately I have family around, and am very active at church and at the gym. I wonder if there are walking clubs that you could join (not like a gym, kind of like a book club). You could always volunteer some place. I've always wanted to volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center. I keep pretty busy at the gym, but one day I will do that. Take care my friend! Sue Moschino
ReplyDeleteAre you feeling better today Rosalie? I hope so! Been thinking about you today.
ReplyDelete((Sherri))
I just reread your post. I read it yesterday, and wanted to mill your words over in my head, and take them to heart. I'm sorry my friend for the loss of your Dad's family, for the loss of all those beautiful family members both in Poland, and now in Japan. No one deserves these tragedies, and you don't deserve to feel like you have done things in a former life to bring you such heartache. Faith is hoping in things not seen. When faith is absent, life feels pretty hopeless. People have many ways they express their faith, they have many spiritual guides that lead them to the God they pray to. Can you try this tomorrow morning, or even now if you'd like, before your feet even hit the floor, or as you quietly sit, everyday. Speak out loud and say the words, THANK YOU. Thank You for my life. Then give thanks to all the people you love. I know you love your hubby, so begin there. Say out loud, Thank you for my ........... Thank you for Maria. Thank you for my Dad, whom I miss so much. You can connect to the love that they have for you, and then those walls of isolation that make you want to hide in a corner will be broken. It's only a start, but you will begin to receive love, and give it right back. You will begin to feel connected to something bigger than yourself, and your faith will become great! I love you Rosalie. Don't forget to mention us girls in your thankfulness. Aloha, Kasey
ReplyDelete