I feel OK today. I seem to have good ones and then not so good ones. I have decided to try to think positive that I will feel better real soon. You are all right that I need to stop beating myself up about the past. I did move on and forgave my Ex a LONG-Long time ago. Its just dealing with these people again brought all those horrible feelings all over again.
Yes I lost my son, but I think what made it worse was That Judy went out of her way to make me feel so much worse than I already was feeling. I don't need to ever speak or see her again - but the damage is done and now I must move on all over again. This will be the last time that I talk about any of this SHIT! And that's what it is - BULL-SHIT!!
So I need to put that in the garbage shit pile where it belongs in my mind, so I can just mourn the loss of my son.
Change of subject:
OK - so as I was losing my weight and even still now when I look down at myself I still see myself as heavy. Fat Thighs...But when I put my clothes back on and look in the mirror at ME, I say WOW Look at me!! It is weird and I was wondering if any of you feel that way when you look down at YOU or in the mirror and if you see 2 of you too??
I made some pancakes, 3 for today and 3 for tomorrow.
1/4 c each of almond, flaxseed, coconut flours, 2 eggs, some UnSweetenedVanillaAlmondMilk enough to make the right consistency), a few shakes of ea. cinnamon, allspice, pumpkin spice, nutmeg, ginger, about 7 drops of stevia and a big spoon full of pumpkin puree. Cooked them with about 6 blueberries in each pancake. They were so good.
OK so I used the Joseph's sugar free syrup this time and my tummy has been gurgling with lots of gas ever since - but worth it.
OH yeah - Hubby has been driving this week again (for his days off from The FD) for Audi, driving around rich people. He likes it and gets to do it once in a while. He drove a rolls and many other expensive cars before. So He keeps trying to get me to go out of the house so I won't be alone and sad, so I went to the movies yesterday all by my self. I saw Hotel Transylvania. I love cartoon movies. And then snuck into The POSSESSION. That scary one where the girl gets a old box at a yard sale with the Hebrew letters on it. This is a true story they said and it was SCARY AS HELL!! And what the hell happened to the box in the end??
This is PurpleRosy signing off...
My thought for the day:
Happiness is an Attitude
Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. Keep on BFC ' n :-)
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Funny, I've reached that point in my weight loss where I look really different. I was sitting at dinner tonight and I couldn't get over how flat my stomach looked while I was sitting. I couldn't take it anymore this week and went out and bought four new bras. One size smaller around the back and the cup so I really needed new ones. I feel totally different in the new ones (well supported ... lol). The bra looks so much smaller than my previous ones. I can't imagine what another 40 pounds will look like - I'm excited :) Glad you're feeling better today. I haven't made pancakes in a while ... those look yum.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that each day has good moments! You are in my thoughts!
ReplyDeleteHappy that your feeling a little better. Your pancakes look yummy! Sending you hugs!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling better.
ReplyDeleteCould you change my weight to 209 please!
Thanks,
Crystal