Look what I got today...
Yesterday was a long day. But breakfast first of course.
 |
We each ate one of my shortbread cookies and looked in the shopping buildings. Yeah I spent too much money. I got 2 sets of new sheets, 2 hair clips, 1 earrings, a whisk thingy that you push down and it spins, and new mop that spins and comes with a bucket.
looks like thisI ate half a turkey leg and some of Maria's veggies. She got this plate with veggies and chicken and it was huge. I had a baggie with me and put the rest of the turkey meat in it in my small cooler I brought for some bottles of water.
As we walked around I ate a bite of caramel corn, a nut sample and later a bite of Lisa's funnel cake. I never tasted that before. That's all I ate all day and felt like I ate like a pig. By the time I got home it was after 8pm and no more food for me.
It seems like everyone has some sort of advice for me. Maria says for me to see a shrink, Hubby's mom says for me to go get a job, lots of others say to go get some sleeping aids or anti-depressants from the doctor. It's only been a little over 2 weeks and I feel I get some grieving time to be sad if I want. You all know how strong I am and I promise I will not let it go too far. Life goes on no matter how I feel.
I tried to make myself busy, doing laundry, then vacuumed, then took out the new mop and of course while putting the handle together - cut my had pretty bad cause of my ET's. Stupid me!!
Then I got a phone call from Judy of all people. She asked me how I was and I just kind of went off on her and wound up kind of yelling at her about - well - just everything. The funeral, the past 2 weeks and then the past. I had been blaming her and my EX for all that crap that happened over 22 years ago and but It turns out that she says none of that stuff was her idea at all and she had no idea about all the stuff my EX put me thru. She apologized for her immature part in all of it - but had no idea why or what I had been thru. She said I should have told her, but I felt so alone and trapped and told her I couldn't tell anyone at all. Well I guess I believe her. Maybe this will help in my healing process.
I finally mopped the house - OK not as much fun as the guy described when Lisa and I bought one. LOL
I just didn't feel like eating at all, but around 3 I fixed a zuchinni crust pizza with a little alfredo sauce and turkey pepperoni.
Well thanks for listening and lots of love to you all.
This is PurpleRosy signing off...
My thought for the day:
Very well written!! So many people resort to dieting pills, but if they would just exercise and eat a little healthier they will see a dramatic change. It’s what helped me to lose hip fat.
ReplyDeleteIsn't interesting how people are directing you do this and that take this and that...when you are just try to feel you way through the process. Good for you! It takes time and we need to feel what we feel. Society we are taught to put on a brave face, take a pill, etc. I think it's to make everyone else feel better :-) I am so glad you are taking the long road, "the healing road"...the last thing you or anyone needs is to stuff our feeling down and not go through them... it takes what it takes no more no less...Hugs to you Rosalie.
ReplyDeleteIt's ok to mourn. We need to mourn with those who are mourning! It's your pain you have to work your way through, no one else's. My heart is mourning with you! Take the time to grieve. Try to ignore what others say that does not witness to your heart. I pray for peace in your mind and heart Rosalie.
ReplyDeleteLovely flowers! Happy to hear you had fun at the fair and picked up some interesting goodies too! I agree with Sandra and Francie that this is your time and process of grieving and no one can tell you how it should be. Take care of yourself and know that you are loved <3
ReplyDelete