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Sunday, January 16, 2011

Sunday of week 51: It is Finished

It is finished.

I have been by my dad's bedside for almost 2 weeks now. On Tuesday he went into the Hospice. He has been there twice before and they take such good care of him there that he has recovered both times. But not this time. We all knew that this was the last.

For at last 2 days he did not respond anymore. He did not eat or drink or talk or even move. Yesterday (Saturday) around 6:15pm, the nurse came in his room and asked me to help her move him to a new position. I did that already a few times before, since I am the strongest. I was holding him by the pad under him and she was putting pillows under his one side.

All of a sudden he opened his eyes and looked at me. I was in total shock, since I said that he has not responded for 2 days. He looked at me and I started to talk to him. He tried so hard to communicate, but could not talk. He could only make sounds out of his mouth. It was Maria, Kattie and I around him, holding his hands. He was squeezing our hands and trying so hard. It totally devastated us. We all three were crying. He was in so much pain, and he even tried to smile at me.

He went on and did this for 30 minutes and I told Kattie to get the nurse and give him some more pain meds. After that he calmed down. My 2 brothers from Michigan went to visit one of their son that lives in Vegas, so they were not there. Lisa was working. So it was Kattie, Maria and Me.

It was truly a Miracle, that he woke up to see us one last time.

Then Kattie left around 8pm, and it was just Maria and I. I tried to rest, but could not. The doctor came in late and gave dad some medicine under his tongue and he was very calm then. So around 10:45pm Maria said, why don't you go home and rest. I said well no matter where I am, I will not sleep anyways.

So I looked at dad and Maria and said, Will you be OK? She said yes. Dad looked so peaceful. Then I was thinking, that every time I was here in the last 2 months visiting dad because Maria said he was real bad, then I left to go home He always got worse and I had to come right back.

So I went to their house and started to do her laundry to try to help her. I got in my PJ's and was watching TV. I was only home for 45 minutes. Then the phone rang and I knew. It was Maria and she was crying. I said I will be right back.

I hurried and got back as fast as I could. she told me that after I left, she just fell asleep for a minute and woke to him - Gone. The time was 11:45pm on Saturday evening.

I feel that it happened that was for a reason. I was at home, Lisa was at work, Kattie was at her house, Paul and Michael was at that birthday party for Michael's son, and Maria was asleep. He went his own way in his own time.

I am so glad that I able to come and be here to help Dad and Maria for all this time. I feel relieved that he is in no more pain. I watched him suffer for so long. He is with the angels now.

I know I might have gained 2 lbs from the past 2 weeks of being here. I am going to try to get back to my routine when I get home. I have not exercised or walked for so long.

We want to try to have the funeral by Wednesday morning, because my 2 brothers are going home on Wednesday.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers for me and my family. You don't know how much it means to me.

Thanks for listening. Love to you all..............


  1. (((BIG HUGS)))I know your dad is most definitely with the angels now and he will be your angel watching over you.
    We are all here for you and love you! If I can do anything, let me know. I am a good listener.

  2. Sorry to hear about your father Rosalie. He is with the Angels now and no more pain. I will keep you and your family in my heart and prayers.

  3. He's free of that old body that caused him pain. He's truly free! Take this time to find peace. When you spend your last days together, you won't have to deal with any regrets!

  4. {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

    So so sorry. It's good that all of you can at least find comfort in the fact that he is at peace now. There are plenty of shoulders here for you. Take care of yourself.


  5. Rosalie, I'm proud of you and all that you have done for both your Dad, family, and yourself.I know this time has been difficult, yet the right thing in your heart for your Dad.I pray each day gets a little easier as you have more time to focus on yourself.Please know I'm here for you.Hugs to you at this time,


  6. Big hugs Rosalie!! At least your Dad is feeling no more pain, and he can look down on his wonderful family and see how they were always by his side. Lots of hugs and we are all here for you.

  7. So sorry to hear about your father....but he can rest now. Stay strong and keep on going, you are doing an amazing job. Such an inspiration to us all.

  8. {{{{HUGS}}}} sorry to hear about your Dad. I'm glad you had a special moment with him.

  9. Prayers are still flying your way Rosalie. I am so sorry about the loss of your Dad. Please accept my heartfelt condolences to you, and to your family.

  10. We are still thinking of you through this difficult time.. Stay strong Rosalie and know that we are all here for you.. We miss you :)



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SugarLiquid SteviaStevia Extract PowderConcentrated Stevia
Clear Liquid
1 tsp2-3 dropsn/a4-6 drops
2 tsp4-6 dropsn/a8-12 drops
1 Tbsp6-9 dropsn/a1/8 tsp
1 cup1 tsp1/3 to 1/2 tsp1 Tbsp
2 cup2 tsp2/3 - 1 tsp2 Tbsp

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Some tips if you are having trouble

  • First make sure that you are staying under the 15/6. 15 sugars and 6 servings of carbs for the whole day. Thats no more than 5 sugars and 2 servings of carbs per meal.
  • Track all of your sugar/carbs. Add everything from your meal together and count them that way.
  • Try to stop eating whole grain carbs after 3pm.
  • Make sure you drink lots of water.
  • Count everything that you put into your mouth. Even sauces - everything , check labels.
  • Make sure that you don't eat any artificial sugars. Check labels, if it says sugar free - look in the ingredients, look for....sucralose, aspartame, saccharine in the ingredients. Those are BAD!
  • Going #2 is a big problem when a lot of people start the BFC. I have solved that problem with Clear Benefiber in my morning coffee and a scoop of Super Seed w/water in the afternoon. (you can buy the super seed on Amazon.com it is the cheapest).
  • Choose your carbs wisely. Try to pick the carbs that will give you the lowest count of carbs, sugar and calories and the most fiber.

I hope this helps.