Well I feel like I am done with this now. I am not sure that I want to blog anymore. There has been such a drop off in interest in the BFC in general. But you all know that is how I started, but now I consider myself...
So may things have happened to me since starting to get healthy. My son died - it will be 2 years on Sept 10th. His father died a year later. We were renting for a few years trying to get our lives turned around and it worked. A little over a year ago, we bought a home in a beautiful area and we love it here.
I have managed to stay the same weight and actually lost more now. I was always teedering between 149-153 lbs. Now I find myself at 145-146. BTW that's 93 lbs lost for me.
I tried so hard to get a job - any job for a couple years and then 9 months ago - only by knowing someone - got a job as a loan processor for only $12 an hour. I appreciate the little check I do get very much. But the stress of working my ASS off (this is a stressful job) and all the Spanish around me, makes me feel very alienated...
I try very hard to try to fit in and make sure to be extra nice and go around to everyone, every morning to say good morning. I try not to bump heads with the irritating ones. There are times when I have anxiety and thoughts about that place I just can't get out of my head.
But yesterday - I was being pushed to get disclosures out and schedule appraisals for a couple properties, and it was at the end of the day - and there was 4 of them in our office - telling jokes in Spanish!!
I finally said "Can't you guys not do that in Spanish so I can understand"? They just kept on while I was stressing trying to finish getting the appraisal ordered before the long weekend.
I got so HURT and Angry when I left that I actually called my boss back and told him how upset I was and that I didn't really feel like coming back on Tuesday!
Of course I am - I have to now... With the new house and bills, we need my paycheck. And before you say ...Just go get another job - DON'T - PLEASE DON'T!! It took me 2 years to find this one and I am too old I guess now a days.
I actually think I feel so much more LONELY now than I did when I stayed home all the time.
Before when I didn't work, I could do the yard work, cleaning, run errands, make my goodies in the kitchen - whenever I wanted. I walked with the dogs in the middle of the day - if I wanted.
Now I am alienated all day because I am the only one who does NOT speak Spanish. Then I come home and walk ALONE every day with my dogs. I can never get anyone to walk with me! I can't get anyone to be friends with me! Am I too old to make a friend? I have no one to talk to besides Hubby - and he no help sometimes... He's a GUY!
I TRY - but must be doing something wrong. I must have my bitch face on or they just don't want to be around me cause I an TOO HEALTHY!! That's another thing... I don't know anyone who eats the way I do - NOBODY!! I feel like a freak!!
So like I said - I think I am done writing this blog!! I don't see enough participation here or on the Facebook page... I want to help others get healthy, but can't make anyone.
I will still post recipes as I find them.
As always - thanks for listening and have a great day.
This is PurpleRosy ----signing OUT!!
Keep on BFC ' n :-)
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How to convert Sugar to Stevia
|Sugar||Liquid Stevia||Stevia Extract Powder||Concentrated Stevia|
|1 tsp||2-3 drops||n/a||4-6 drops|
|2 tsp||4-6 drops||n/a||8-12 drops|
|1 Tbsp||6-9 drops||n/a||1/8 tsp|
|1 cup||1 tsp||1/3 to 1/2 tsp||1 Tbsp|
|2 cup||2 tsp||2/3 - 1 tsp||2 Tbsp|