First, yes Kay I always eat fresh blackberries. I get them at Sam's Club, and they always seem to have them.
Today I ate:
breakfast; 2 eggs, cheese, 2 oasis bread w/butter and peanut butter, 2 turkey bacon, 8 blackberries, coffee blah, blah, blah.
lunch; quinoa w/some veggies small amt of ea. (zuchini, yellow onion, mushroom, asparagus) and a hand full of Boca Bites. (comes in a zip top bag) I just used a small handfull. I cooked it all together and put in some chicken bullion.
dinner; 7 meatballs, broccoli, and alfredo sauce. 2 squares of Lindt 85% dark chocolate and Redi Whip.
OK so now for the VENTING!!
We moved into our house that we live in around July 1st of last year. We are just leasing. It's a long story, but a little while after we told my son he could move in w/us and we helped him get his crap together. He was all messed up.
I helped him get his license back, took him to the doctors and paid, (he injured his back and could not work anymore, and the doctor was the only way to get his disability money.) We fed him, bought him clothes, gave him a free place to live, and helped him get a car - and helped pay for it.
Remember he is 28..
So just when he started doing better, started getting his money, had a car - thanks to us, he met this girl. I don't know if I should say this but, she took off her clothes to make money........................
Anyway I will try to make this short as I can. He stopped staying at my house and said he was sleeping on her couch. My son gave her a bunch of money to get an apt. Like $2000. It turned out that she had a boyfriend who was in Afghanistan. Oh but here's the best part!! He's married w/4 kids!!
So he came home and my son was out of the picture. But not until he gave her all kinds of jewlry, diamonds gifts, and you guessed it - his CAR!!. He was doing drugs again and screwed everything up, had no place to live, and was on the street and of course no money!
So I went and picked him up and brought him back to my house after he asked to come back. I told him - we will only give you a bed and food. That's It! You have to help yourself this time! I'm not driving you around, or paying for anything.
So after about a week or so we got into a big fight and he left and wound up at the hospital - he checked himself in, and from there he wound up at rehab. Where he has been for 2 weeks. I went to visit him on Sunday. I was the only one this time. I stayed for 2 hours after that silly class and tried to get him to talk to me.
The problem is that I never know when he is telling me the truth. He lies a lot. And I am not sure if he is in there for the right reason or not now. He is trying to establish his disability money back again. He told me he gave his ATM card to that girl. I got real mad and said why didn't he give it to me - she's gonna spend your money??
I sent her a text message today and said I want to talk to her and to call me when she is free.
I thought I would be calm with her, but I was very angry! I asked her about her situation and demanded that she give the ATM card back to him. I did cuss at her once when I said why was she fucking another guy (who is married w/4 kids by the way) and stringing along my son and told her to leave him alone.
She said that none of this is my business and I said her life isn't but my son is my business and she is using him. He thinks you love him. How could you accept all that money and a CAR that I helped pay for? Don't you have any self respect? She said she does - but he will never take it back if she refused it and then she tells me how her apt is full of gifts from him, like diamonds and real jewelry and tons of stuff.
I just about lost it and wanted to call her a whore - which is what she is!!!!! But I didn't. I told her to leave him alone so he can recover.
I was so mad I wanted to reach thru the phone and kill her. I told her I know what it is like to be a single mother and I never would have accepted all those thing from a guy. Especially when she has a boyfriend (who is married w/4 kids) and met my son when he was over seas.
OK so - that's what happened. It took me a while to calm down. Hubby called me twice to make sure I was OK. I'm fine now - but I don't think I'm gonna visit him in there any more. He is making stupid choices and I don't want to be responsible for any of it by helping him any more.
That's it - I hope everyone else had a great day!
My thought for the day:
Get Up
It does not matter how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up.Keep on BFC ' n :-)
*****************
Want a carrot? I would respond with a drink... but I'm not sure that is completely allowed at my stage of weight loss. Ok I'll do carrots... and you do the good stuff. I feel for you lady... had a sister go thru the exact same thing your son is going thru and I saw how it just piled unecessary stress on my parents. It's hard.. but you're doing the right thing. This is something he has to do on his own, he'll never be fully sucessfull until he has complete ownership over it. If it makes you feel any better... during one of my sister's escapades my dad, who also thought he was calm enough to confront her boyfriend at the time, ended up throwing chunks of grass at the jerk. When I asked my dad why grass.. he said it was grass or fists... and he didn't like how County Jail Orange looked on him, he said had it been gray it would have been a different story. Keep your chin up lady... we are all here for you!
ReplyDeleteAddiction is ugly, but the person who is in the middle of it is the only one who can decide to change it. You have given a lot and now you are allowed to take a back seat and see if he can get healthy. There is such a fine line between being supportive and being an enabler. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteMy ex husband lost me, his kids (from another mother) his car, boat, house, dignity, health....and he is still drinking and smoking pot. None of it was enough to make him quit. It does validate my decision to leave, I couldn't have helped him if he was willing to lose his kids too. Keep in mind that their mom had left them all with their dad. He was all they had and he couldn't quit drinking for them. They all have struggles as adults. I am so grateful that my kids spent a very limited time in the environment. I made it a year and a half. Call me bad, but I cared more about my kids and my mental health!
Blessings Rosie!
Oh, girl! That was a Venti size venting! I'm so sorry that you have to watch your child, even at age 28, go through all of this. So hard to not want to help. A big hug for you right now, Rosie.
ReplyDeleteThat sucks, I'm so sorry your son can't see beyond his own selfishness. Big hugs
ReplyDeleteHUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI know stressful life and I feel for ya!
No easy button there for sure! hugs!
ReplyDeleteRosalie has your son gotten therapy, or only rehab with a touch of therapy? Can you file a restraining order against that chick in your son's name? I'm not sure but it's worth checking on. Also call the Bank if you haven't already and close that bank account, and open a new one, and get him another ATM card. You were too nice to that worthless thing! I hope your son recovers, and becomes the son you are supposed to have. You have our hearts on this.
ReplyDeleteYou can only do so much, until your son admits he has this problem and his life is unmanageable, there's nothing more you can do. I know you love your son, but watching him cause all this havoc is not healthy for you!! Your doing the right thing, when i was in my addiction, i knew it was time for help and i was not going to lose anything, especially my girls! I was not a hard core alcoholic but my life started to become unmanageable, which would've led to death or jail and i'm afraid your son may be heading in that direction unless he stops his denial and the unhealthy relationship. Big HUG to you!!!
ReplyDelete